


Layover

by Adelheide1121



Category: All My Children, General Hospital (TV 1963)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25922542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adelheide1121/pseuds/Adelheide1121
Summary: It's been twelve years since they last saw each other and he hardly crossed her mind anymore. Then she saw him – and he saw her.
Relationships: Anna Devane/David Hayward
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Farewell to Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein David makes an impression and Anna studies the situation.

September 2015

Scotland in autumn was a dream.

Open and colorful highland landscapes beckoned, with bright blue skies, fiery colored leaves, and crisp air smelling of rich loam and grass filled the lungs with every breath. The grass was bent in two by bracing winds racing down southern slopes, and sheep grazed in its path, hemmed in by low stone walls. The evenings were calm, golden, and dewless, perfect for gazing at the setting sun and remembering love lost. The apples began to burn red on the bending boughs in the orchards, crickets sang lullabies, and the sunshine was thick and as bright as spun gold; closing into nights of peaceful, undisturbed slumber under a roof watched over by autumnal stars. It was a September that dreamt of May.

But it was a dream she had to wake from.

Anna was drawn to the garden every warm day, drinking in color like wine, where the late honey-tinted sunshine filtered through the trees, reveling in the exquisite sadness of fleeting beauty, knowing the summer, like love, couldn't last no matter how much a heart wanted it to. She thought of a proverb she had heard Filomena say when a happy moment had come to an end, "the same summer will never be coming twice." And it was true. Her peaceful Highland summer was over.

It fitted then that the rain was unrelenting when she packed up and said goodbye to the dear little stone cottage that had been her refuge for the past two months. The water beat down on the windshield of her car in an endless gray sheet, the lights of the city bleeding together like watercolor as she made her way to the Edinburgh Airport. Warmth couldn't touch the city, as if it was suspended in an enchanted dreariness. Anna felt sick and cold and empty. The golden Midsomer she had spent remembering love lost had turned to withered leaves. Everything was remote and unreal again. Anna would go back to test how much a woman may suffer and yet go on living and working. She let a swell of grief wash over her, and then let it recede.

It was time to go home. Alone. He would not greet her ever again.

Anna Devane's heart was heavy as she pulled her navy-blue carry on bag through the bustling evening crowd in the airport. She had been meticulous in her arrival time at her gate, where she should have been boarding a plane for her non-stop flight to New York. This would leave her with enough time to board the shuttle that would take her to the final destination, Port Charles.

She stopped in front of the arrival/departure boards and cursed under her breath. Canceled was flashing in place of her boarding time. She shouldn't have been surprised that flights had been grounded by the weather, but it was a blow nonetheless. She collapsed into one of the molded gray chairs placed her head in her hands. She only allowed herself a moment of respite before she picked up her luggage and went to the desk at her gate. The news wasn't promising. No planes would be leaving until tomorrow, and passengers were scrambling to find shelter, leaving the surrounding hotels with no room at the inn.

"There's nay room to be had in the hotel's around, even wi' our allotment." the desk attendant explained swiftly, looking at the passengers that stood in line behind Anna, as if afraid a second person would step forward and begin to question her.

Anna glanced around the concourse, noticing people wearing the same expression of confusion and exhaustion. Men in smart suits and families with children were knocking about, populating all of the communal spaces. Her head dropped down, and a sigh escaped her mouth. In the common fluorescent light of day, the radiant certainty of her Highland summer had faded.

"My flight has been canceled. The next one is tomorrow morning. I need a hotel room if I can't get on a flight till tomorrow," Anna said; she would not normally share this much information where strangers could overhear, but she was exhausted, and her alertness was diminished. Of course, she would have flown economy in a heartbeat, if it meant she could be back on a plane right now, but there were no flights going in or out for any amount of money. Large or small.

She realized that there was no resolution to find, so she wandered through the airport. She walked slowly, not as a woman who walks who is tired, or content to saunter for the pleasure of it, but as one in no haste to reach her destination mainly because she didn't have one. That was until she found herself at the nearest bar. It was actually cozy with old-world accents that she could appreciate even in this state of mental exhaustion. And one thing was certain, Anna Devane needed a drink, probably two.

Anna sat quietly up at the bar, unacknowledged by the busy bartender that was working to fill orders of all the other passengers, aimless and looking to pass the time with alcohol as a friend. She took the wine menu in hand and paused for a moment to look at the offerings. Her attention was piqued for a moment when across the room, she observed a couple whispering softly to each other. They were young, likely in their early 20s, and obviously in love. The man's hand slid under the table and rested on what Anna presumed was a knee, and his companion smiled mischievously. She was not surprised when they rose to leave; the man's hand easily fitted into his companion's. The envy that sat heavily in her chest from witnessing that simple but sincere act of physical contact nearly made her weep. She wanted to run after them and tell them to cherish each other, to take nothing for granted, that a forever-love be taken away in an instant.

Her moment of contemplation was interrupted by a harried-looking server stopping to ask if there was anything she needed. Anna felt compelled to ask a few questions about the menu and place an order in hopes that she would be left alone after. Above all things, she wanted to be left bloody alone, but all it did was made painfully aware of just how alone she was.

She sighed heavily and leaned her chin on her hand. Only yesterday, she had felt light and cheerful, and the world was filled with only the possibility for good, and now the dark thoughts returned, thoughts of vengeance and retribution. Thoughts she had tried to expose to the sunlight, but they still remained in the deepest recesses of her soul. Anna was so fully engaged in a battle with her own mind that she jumped when the bartender unexpectedly set a silver bucket in front of her along with two champagne flutes. Anna looked up rather blankly at the uncorked bottle wrapped in white linen.

"There must be a mistake. I didn't order this," she said, confused.

"Yer admirer did," The bartender gestured behind her and across the crowded seating area. Anna turned her head in curiosity and scanned the faces in the room.

Then she saw him – and he saw her.

He is as he ever was; tall and handsome and distinguished-looking—dark, inscrutable eyes. That's not to say that he was untouched by time. His dark hair was dusted with gray, and he, as she, had a few more creases on his brow than when they last said goodbye, traced no doubt by the trials and tribulations of the intervening years. He was dressed in a suit, but his tie had been discarded at some point, and his collar was open at the throat, and a days worth of stubble was on his chin. But even though his stature and frame were recognizable, it was the glint in his eye and sardonic half-smile that she made her know him on the spot.

Never in her life would she have expected to be faced with David Hayward in the flesh.

"Hello, Devane." He smiled his dark velvet smile, and Anna was struck dumb with shock and surprise. He reached for the bottle and a champagne flute and filled it, placing it in front of her. He acted so naturally as if this was a common occurrence like time hadn't passed.

Anna tensed immediately, but her face managed to retain its composure. A flood of old memories poured over her, some warm, but some of them decidedly unpleasant. She stared at the glass, not knowing what to say; she sensed something cracking inside her and used all her strength to keep the pieces together. No words were said because no words came.

"Do you no longer enjoy Krug Grande Cuvée?" he asked, seeing her stare. "I remember it was your favorite?"

Anna suddenly felt the room very stifling. "Yes," she found her own voice, "Thank you." She took the glass, relieved that her hands remained steady as she wrapped her fingers around the bowl, reassured by holding something so tangible when everything else appeared so surreal. Anna peered at him over the rim of her glass, eyes charged and wary.

"Salute."

Taking a small sip, she tried to ignore David's eyes now focused solely on her. It seemed that the years did nothing to dim their spark of intensity. Or perhaps it was because of her, a notion she dismissed it at once.

"It's very good," she said simply.

"I'm glad you like it. It's one of those things that gets impressively better with time," he said. Anna closed her eyes for a moment to avoid openly rolling them. She chose to ignore the subtext in his words.

"So, Dr. Hayward. How are you? Is it still Doctor, isn't it?" she managed after their silence had almost stretched from acceptable to awkward.

"Dr. Hayward? That is a very formal way to greet your ex-husband."

Anna's lip pressed into a thin line at his remark. She knew he loved every minute of her discomfort, relishing it even. "How many years has it been, David?" she asked softly, setting the glass down.

"I don't know—quite a while. I don't really keep track," he said nonchalantly.

Anna bristled inwardly. She remembered the day she had said goodbye with steely-eyed clarity. But since he had forgotten, she would forget too- with a vengeance. She looked at him coolly and said nothing. If he was trying to provoke her, she would be damned if she would give him the satisfaction.

"I'm kidding. Twelve, Anna." He paused, somewhat solemnly. "Twelve years since we last saw each other."

Anna studied his face carefully, trying to ascertain whether the emotion that he had flickered away so quickly was something resembling sadness, and regret. Before she could make up her mind, his brazen smirk was back.

"How did you even recognize me after all this time?" She asked. She wondered how she looked to him. Her hair shorter, the years stamped on her features. 

"Your voice. That and you are hard to miss." His eyes flicked over her, "Elegant, aristocratic, and beautiful, you always were the most captivating woman in the room. And I'm glad to see nothing has changed after all these years. It seems only yesterday we were in Pine Valley and so young."

Anna raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Still a flatterer, I see. We were not so young then, David, and we certainly aren't now," she said dryly. She was surprised at how familiar his name felt on her tongue.

"Alright, then many things, this champagne included, get better with time," he said, he then took a long draught from his flute, his eyes never leaving hers. She felt an unwanted flush reach her cheeks and cursed inwardly, knowing that his eagle eyes would notice. She nodded and gave a small smile, silently accepting the compliment—to refuse it would be rude. Seductive and sensual, not much had changed about his demeanor over the years. This put her on guard.

He couldn't stop looking at her. Her face was at once exactly as he remembered it the last time he saw her but also so different. Its expression rather than its beauty which fascinated. That vivid inward glow was still shining through her. Her hair was shorter now and darker, but the light reflected off its smooth glossiness. The angles of her face and the line of her neck, always a work of art, were still smooth and captivating. And that feline-like grace he had known by heart still flowed from her with every movement.

"You are more beautiful than I remember. Which is saying something," he uttered.

Anna took another mouthful of her drink, welcoming the ripe citrus notes on her tongue, preventing her from speaking. She looked up, meeting his eyes with a fierce stare of her own, and fought the urge to make a sarcastic comment at his compliment, which was clearly intended to draw one from her in return. But compliments were never cheap when it came to David; soft words were never overused; her face felt suddenly warm, and the cracks within her deepened.

"What do you want, David?" she asked sharply, not looking at him. Her fingers tapped against her glass in agitation.

"I want to catch up. I want to know about you and what your life is like now. And if you will let me, I want to tell you about my life. What do you say? Why don't we order some food, enjoy this extremely expensive bottle of champagne and sit here together and just talk? What else do you have to do, Devane?"

Anna looked at him for a moment and then let herself relax just a fraction before nodding. She leaned back in her chair and gestured to the empty one opposite her. David took her invitation and sat down. She tried to ignore the look of triumph on his face, but she observed him without the burden of her previous discontentment. She started to feel more like herself again.

They spent the hour talking, slowly filling the space of all the years that had passed. They tread with care, picking their way through the conversation, avoiding anything that would open old wounds. There were so many things they wanted to say to each other but did not know how to express them or even where to begin. They talked only a little of Pine Valley, so many of that old guard were dead or moved away from that there was little of it left: Dimitri Marick, residing in Budapest Hungary; Maria Santos Gray, residing in California, Edmund Grey, deceased…

"Alex?" he asked

Anna squirmed in her chair, uncomfortably. Anna knew she was to blame for her neglected relationship with her sister. Alex had begged her to visit Vadsal numerous times in the early days of her move to Budapest, but then the invitations had grown less frequent and then stopped altogether as the years went by.

"We don't talk much now. We...we sort of lost touch in touch after I left Pine Valley and rejoined the WSB."

"So, you grew apart. I'm not surprised. She always focused on herself first even if she was a master at hiding her narcissism. Her marriage to Dimitri lasted longer than I would have bet on."

Anna gaped at him, her fork halfway to her mouth.

"Sorry to shock you, but trust me, an egotistical sociopath can recognize another. It was only a matter of time before Dimitri caught on, although this is the man who fell for Erica Kane. Twice."

Anna flinched at his words.

David shook his head in apology, "I'm sorry. That sounded harsh, and it wasn't fair. Whatever differences Alex and I had, it has nothing to do with you."

"No, it's alright." She said hurriedly. She reached out impulsively and almost touched his hand before realizing what she was doing and retracted to pick up her glass again.

"Uh...I should have done more to stay in touch, you know? I didn't call, and there was no way for her to be in touch with me while on a mission. She became more and more distant as we both retreated in our work. She is chained to her research clinic in London, and you know Alex; she had a need to be hands-on. I hope that we can reconnect eventually. Something always seems to get in the way."

"Alright! Enough about your sister, tell me about you, Anna. Is there someone waiting for you out in the world? I don't see a ring on your finger."

She felt a sharp pain in her chest, but her heart did not betray her, and blood continued to pump smoothly, keeping her face flushed with color. "If I had someone waiting for me, would it matter to you?" She looked at this bare left hand and tilted her head to the side to look at him "It would hope both of us are too wise to try matrimony again."

"Touche!" He laughed, but there was something behind her eyes that made him think that any talk of love past or present was off-limits at the moment. He would change tack.

"But come on Anna, where did life take you after we parted ways? Start with Paris."

He listened as she explained the path her life had taken over the years; he was not surprised that she was still fated to a life in law enforcement. David remembered what it was to match converse with a woman so brilliant, witty, self-possessed, and altogether charming. Once or twice, David was able to coax a smile from her and, better yet, was when her peel of laughter, intoxicating and irresistible, rang through the bar causing the other patrons to stop and stare in their direction. To David, her laugh was like a wonderful vintage with top notes of sweetness, the expressiveness pushing through and undernotes of maturity, and a heady richness that brought a smile to his face. It was not unlike hearing a forgotten song and remembering all the lyrics.

Anna took a moment to refill her glass before pressing ahead with the conversation. She was enjoying their conversation more than she liked to admit to herself. It felt so good to talk again after her summer of solitude.

"So I've told you my life story. It's time for you to return the favor. What the devil have you been up to David Hayward. And remember I was always good at reading you so I'd try to stick to the truth. That is if you can manage it."

David's wicked look was back in his eyes at her words. "I don't know if I should be insulted or grateful that you never thought to run my name through one of your WSB databases. Weren't you even the least bit curious?"

"I've learned sometimes its best to leave the past in the past if you can." she regarded him cooly. "Of course, that does mean you run the risk of it popping up when you least expect it?"

"Well, I've done what you probably thought I would never do. I served time for crimes I committed, justice was satisfied, and I paid my debt to society. It took a long time, but my medical license was finally reinstated. Provisionally anyway. I'm restricted to hands-on patient care only. No drug research allowed."

"I'm surprised you have the will to go on then." she rolled her eyes. She couldn't help shooting her little arrows of mockery his way.

"I understand your skepticism." He leaned back and his seat and folded his hands behind his head and smiled. "But believe it or not, I actually enjoy my work. I joined Surgeons of Hope. Our organization aims to provide every infant and child with a damaged heart an opportunity to receive life-saving surgery. I couldn't save Leora, but I've been able to give other children a fighting chance. I spend most of my time at our clinics in Latin America."

Anna was speechless, and David's grin widened as he watched her process his words and then continued.

"When I'm not at the Pediatric Surgery Center in Managua, I'm sent around the world to do my song and dance to raise funds. Because of my experience with the Andrassy Foundation, they think I'm a good candidate for that, but I'd rather be in surgery saving lives than handshaking a bunch of bankers."

David watched her carefully, grinning as she crimsoned under his gaze. Anna sipped her champagne, trying to put out the fire in her cheeks. A spark leaped up in the depths of her brown eyes, and on her face was amazement, incredulity, the last predominating.

"You are surprised that I could spend my time being altruistic? But you are right to be suspicious, that's not my motivation." He pushed his chair back and placed his hands behind his head.

"Prison gives you plenty of time to examine your life and decisions and actions that led you there. Incarceration provoked an examination of my own life and...illuminated the areas that have fallen into stagnation, and thus triggered a series of increasingly desperate and disparate attempts at recapturing the elements that had comprised the happiest time in my life. And I found myself thinking of you the most, Anna. I realized that losing you and Leora sent me down a dark path. I spent my time taking revenge on the world and going to extreme lengths to manufacture the life I wanted with you-"

Anna opened her mouth to retort, but David interjected before she could utter a word of protest.

"-I'm not blaming you for the things I did. I did them. Taking responsibility for my actions rather than blaming others is another life lesson that serving time has taught me. That doesn't change the fact that, of all the women I have known, you were the most important. Letting you walk out the door is the biggest regret of my life, and I've made a lot of mistakes. I never thought I would be able to tell you that, and I'm grateful for this opportunity. There I've said it; now you can let me have it."

Anna was taken aback for a moment. But she didn't speak while she reflected.

"Time is kinder than we think," said Anna at last. "It's a terrible mistake to cherish bitterness for years instead of forgiveness. But time can also make the past romanticized as no doubt it has done for you. The hurt I caused you, and the pain you felt has just faded over time. I think our break up was a mercy for both of us. We were able to part on good terms rather devolve into bitterness that might have come over time. I think you are just letting the what-might-have-beens crowd everything else out. I felt it was very grown-up of us to end it the way we did." Her features softened as remembrance wove a sweet and subtle spell over her. David suddenly laid his hand over her slender pale one lying on the table between them.

She withdrew her hand and sat back abruptly. The spell was broken for her. Her tongue slid over her bottom lip, and her eyes drifted to the ceiling; they glistened in the light.

"What are you thinking of, Anna? You seem very far away." he pressed.

"The lyrics of an old song. You wouldn't know it." Her voice was low and hoarse with suppressed emotion.

"A sad one, I think, from the expression on your face."

"Yes. About two lovers falling out of love and not knowing where they went wrong," she said half-resentfully, half-sorrowfully. A single tear spilled over, but she is too tired to keep it from falling and too ashamed to look back at David as it fell. She wiped it away quickly.

"Sometimes," she said carefully, "most of the trouble in life comes from misunderstanding each other, I think. In our case, David it came from understanding each other too well."

He made a grab for her hand again, but she withdrew it, leaving him to snatch at the empty air. "Anna," he said softly.

"I'm just very tired from traveling today," she says, all formality and stiff propriety once again. Another half-truth. She stood up and placed money on the bar.

"It was wonderful to see you again, David. I wish you luck in all your endeavors. Truly I mean that. I hope your future is full of good." With that, she turned and moved to leave.

"Stay with me tonight," he said quickly. She stopped still and turned to look at him. Surprise registered on her face for a moment, then something like firmness took charge. However, David could sense a current of indecision flowing through her. He decided to test her resolve.

"Were you able to get a hotel room?" he asked pointedly.

"It's really none of your business."

"Come stay in my room tonight. There is a pull-out couch. I'll be the gentleman and let you have the bed." It was a gamble, but he was never one to play safe.

"When have you ever been a gentleman Dr. Hayward?"

"Oh! Again there is the Devane disdain that I've missed." he placed his hand over his heart and chuckled for a moment then grew serious. "And I have missed it, Anna." His eyes searched hers, and their gaze held until she was the one to look away.

"Thank you for the offer, but I plan to make myself at home in the first-class lounge tonight."

"I'm not going to leave you here. I wouldn't feel right about it."

"Well, then you are going to be disappointed."

"Fine." He pulled out a small notepad from his jacket pocket and a pen and wrote hurriedly. Then pulled the paper from the tablet and walked over to her, looming into her personal space an inch or two more than was necessary before pressing the paper into her hand.

"Here is the name of the hotel and room number in case you change your mind." His index finger brushed down the side of her hand, and she didn't pull away this time.

"Goodbye, Anna." He practically breathed his farewell into her ear, and a shiver ran straight down her spine. He then reached for his medical bag and walked away without looking back.


	2. Anticipation and Vexation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein the past tempts Anna and David experiences regret.

Anna was rooted in place and looked after him as he strode away, then huffed a deep breath She watched until she saw him disappear completely into the crowd and closed her eyes for a heartbeat. She grabbed the handle of her carry-on and went in search of a place to settle herself even though she felt so unsettled. She gazed around her like a caged animal seeking escape.

She wove through the waiting masses and walked to the British Airways lounge until she felt like her legs wouldn't hold her any longer, so she sat down in the nearest chair, feeling as if she needed to catch her breath. Her fingers skimmed through the documents she had with her; her passports and her rescheduled first-class plane ticket. She barely glanced at them; they weren't what caught her attention. She looked at the piece of paper in her hand. The hotel name sent her pulse racing and her stomach churning. David was friendly—very friendly—far too friendly.

Her phone lit up, buzzing audibly in the quiet of the first-class lounge and started her. She looked down and scowled. It was an incoming call from Robert Scorpio. She tapped her screen sharply to send his call to voicemail. Like a bucket of cold water on a candle, even just seeing his name made her resolve waver. One thing she knew for sure, Robert Scorpio wouldn't approve of the options that she was weighing in the balance, and she didn't want or need his hypothetical opinion or approval.

But the damage was done. Her impulsiveness was tempered by rational thought, making her introspective to the whys and wherefores of how she came to sit in this airport.

What had she learned from Duke's death?

She had resisted this idea for months, that there was any sense to be made of the death of someone you love or a lesson to be learned. All of her losses had been sudden, unlooked for, and unexpected. When people are dying slow, plodding deaths, it is easy to recognize that every minute, every breath counted, but what about when death came like a thief in the night? Anna Devane was sick to death of learning to live with loss. Sometimes what hurt most was learning she could go on living; that the day always came when she smiled again. I felt like she was becoming adept at something she didn't want to be practiced in, mastering the art of laying a loved one to rest, and moving on.

What she had really learned was that life was impermanent, and all she could count on was what was right in front of her, she may never have this chance again. The world seemed to narrow in on Anna's own moment of decision. She felt the leather of the lounge seat cushioning her body and the slight feel of the paper in her hand. She could stay here and wait for her direct flight to New York. By tomorrow she'd be as far away as she ever was from David Hayward, a man she had not been searching out. But something fluttered in her chest with tiny hummingbird wings, a weakness she thought she had crushed long ago.

What kind of fool would come face-to-face with the Big Bad Wolf a second time and be tempted to let him in?

In answer to her own question, Anna laughed, empty and hollow, provoking raised eyebrows from the other well-heeled passengers in the lounge. Self-distrust washed over her when she realized that she could still feel on her hand the warm pressure of David's, as distinctly as she had felt it for the swift second he had rested it there. She thought of his hand brushing hers, and she had to push down the heat that had begun to rise. Such tender feelings should not be allowed to bloom, as they would never survive the frost of his hubris, certainly not a second time. David had made choices time and time again, and in almost every case, he chose his own skin and ego over almost everyone else. There was nothing to be done. It was his nature. He could never really see her, no matter how much she had tried to make herself seen. And the one thing that brought him outside of himself had died, along with their future, on a cold operating table. She came to Scotland with the intention of visiting the past, but this was not the one she had in mind.

And yet reminiscence had a gravitational force.

This is how much later; Anna found herself standing in an empty hallway, gazing at a hotel room door contemplating whether to knock or come to her senses and walk away. Everyone has their weakness, Odyseuss his sirens, Achilles his heel, Superman his Kryptonite, and Anna Devane had a morally dubious but devastatingly charming doctor. And his appeal was no less potent now as then. She shook her head and stamped her foot, irritated with herself for this reckless moment of weakness. She remained adrift in thought, wondering how she got to this point and what led her to this place. Her decisions were best made impassionately. Her conscience, which always chided her in an unwanted Australian accent, knew too well what happened when she took leave of reason. Yet here she was with her hand raised to knock on the door.

It was fitting. Impulsive moments drove their entire narrative. One minute, her fingers were wrapped around the trigger of her gun, only to be tangled in his hair a short while later; his lips searing hers, his breath hot in her ear. She hadn't thought about him in years, and yet somehow she missed him too; not something she would admit, not something she could explain, even to herself.

She paused. Every possible excuse to leave was running through her head when the hotel room door opened, and there he stood his dark eyes laughing at her.

And suddenly she was caught like a fly in the center of a web.

"I knew you would show up on my doorstep. Come in." He smiled and stepped aside to allow her to pass.

Damn his arrogance. Anna had half a mind to turn around and march right back out, but she raised her chin, set her jaw, and did not attempt to hide her irritation. Only ten seconds in, and this man was already infuriating. She settled into pacing the room; she felt like she was full of too much energy, and this was the only means to settle her nerves.

"Is everything all right?" he asked. Her thoughts had left her restless, but she hoped it did not show on her face.

"Yes. Everything is fine," she replied as he watched her closely. Perhaps he was questioning his decision to have her accompany him here. Or perhaps it was her own apprehension regarding her presence that kept his eyes vigilant, yet now was not the time to explore these questions. Anna took in the new surroundings; it was a suite with a king-size bed and a small sitting area. His suitcase was propped up on the luggage rack near the closet. Her eyes narrowed. One thing that was absent from the room, she noted to herself, was any sort of a pullout sofa.

"I'm glad you changed your mind."

He passed by her to move towards the closet, and he flashed her a smile, looking at the severe expression on her face, humor suffusing his eyes. Still, his body remained tense, like a predator in waiting, ready to pounce. It was strangely alluring.

As he walked by, Anna turned to watch him. She didn't know why her eyes followed him in the first place; she tried to rationalize her reaction, but in that moment of contemplation, David removed his shirt, and the rational thoughts vanished instantly. Her eyes widened as she watched his muscles flex as he pulled the shirt over his head. He tossed in on the floor, but Anna barely noticed it, her attention remained on his broad back.

David sensed her not-so-subtle stare and turned to face her. Seeing her surprised eyes, he smiled again. Hands by his side, he held her gaze, standing still and allowing her to take in her fill of the view. After a few seconds, Anna averted her gaze. David purposefully stepped back into her field of vision and laughed at her discomfort.

"What? Oh, come one, don't pretend that you weren't a little curious to see how I've held up over the years."

She turned away from him, rubbing her temples in vexation, and his eyes drank her in. She was slender and petite, but he knew better than to underestimate her strength. "I can tell from here that the years have been more than kind to you." He was relishing the fact that it was clear that underneath everything, their almost animal-like attraction to one another hadn't dimmed.

She was nervous. He was amused.

She turned on her heel to face him. "Maybe I did want to see how my memories are compared to the present," she said with defiance.

They fell silent again. Fixed to her spot, she considered her next words, but David finally abandoned his, walking towards her slowly, a smile still playing on his lips. Anna remained silent as she tried to keep her eyes locked on his, but they kept wandering stubbornly over his bare torso, noticing every line and shadow. She finally found a spot to fix them on, his medical bag.

"It's the same one." He said, answering her unasked question. "It was the only thing I cared to get back after I was released. Too many good memories, you know?" he let his eyes twinkle at her for a moment before he gestured to the opposite side of the room. "I was going to jump into the shower if you want a chance to go through it. My passport and credentials are in there in case you wanted to verify the story I told you earlier. I wouldn't want you to think I made it all up just to try and get you into my hotel room."

"Tempting as that is really, it's not necessary," she said with a sarcastic bite to her words. His ability to exasperate her was as strong as ever.

"Oh come on, nothing would remind me of old times like you rifling through my things. Those are some of my fondest memories" He laughed then grew serious and took slow steps towards her. "I've been thinking about the strength memories have, Anna," he said softly. "We still think of what life has given us, and mourn what it takes away."

His remark flustered her. "I don't understand what you mean," she lied.

He placed his hands gently on her hips as if he had any right to, a loose hold that was impossible to break. "You do," he says, eyes dark and calm, the sky after a storm.

"Nothing is forever, David" Anna whispered, she resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his arm.

He read her face or her body; she wasn't sure which betrayed her. Naturally, he reached to place his hands on her face, bending down to look her in the eyes. The closeness, the contact, her face nestled in his hands, so close to him, it sent a charge straight from his fingertips down to where warmth pooled in her belly.

Part of her knew she should pull away. But she was already too close to him, the warmth of his bare skin beckoning her fingertips, and she couldn't help but let her hands wander up to explore the planes of his chest. Before she could process what was happening, his lips captured hers with the speed of a lightning strike, and their bodies were pressed against one another, fitting together, hard and soft, large and small. He kissed her deeply, tasting her with desperation and hunger she hadn't felt in years, and she found herself surrendering, muscles gone slack, melting in his arms. Her fingers raked through his hair, nails scratching at the tender nape of his neck, bringing him to her, her body for once unapologetic in its need.

When they broke the kiss, at last, they were gasping, breathless, starving.

"Maybe this isn't the best idea…" she faltered.

"It seems like the perfect idea to me. But maybe you are right," he said, mock-chiding, the devilish look in his eyes, implying he desired the exact opposite. He advanced on her with that familiar predatory grace, pressing himself against her, her back against the door. With a single deft finger, he tucked a curl of her hair behind her ear and whispered, "What do you choose, Anna?"

She could practically hear the blood in his carotid artery pumping quickly, rushing to fill his heart, quickened in his excitement. Her own heartbeat erratically too, a mix of and excitement, waiting for him to inch close enough. Her body all but leaped at his touch, yet she still fought, saying the words.

"So... you want me to stay?"

"That was the original plan, yes." He took her palm and pressed it to his lips before laying on his shoulder. Something in his tone—something she had not heard since their days alone in their cabin—made Anna's heart beat wildly. But she answered lightly.

"It's been so long. Maybe we have forgotten how to do this together." Now she was deliberately teasing.

"Oh? You think we might need some practice?" he asked, nonchalantly, fingers threading underneath the buttons of her blouse, threatening to pop them one by one. She reached to take possession of his hand; it was warm in hers, almost sweaty, and she realized with surprise that David might, in fact, be nervous. She gently squeezed his fingers in reassurance.

"I guess we will find out," she whispered into his mouth before kissing him full on the lips again. He felt so good. Finally, they paused for breath, and his eyes looked at her fervently. His lips began to move along the line of her jaw. He pulled her blouse from the waist of her dress pants, and she felt the way his thumb rested on an inch of her bare skin at the small of her back.

They shouldn't, she thought. It was a dangerous game to travel down the rabbit-hole of touches and whispers of another lifetime. But as she was about to speak, his mouth found a sensitive spot on her neck, and the only thing that left her lips was a soft moan. At that sound, heedless of anything but wanting her, David scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down, and his hands wasted no time in rediscovering her, from the curve of her hips to the feel of the soft swells of her breasts before he pulled the clothes from her body.

His mouth moved to claim hers again, but she stopped him with a finger against his lips.

"One time David. That's all this can be. Just one time."

His eyes were dark, hungry, "Then we had better make it count."

Their bodies remember all the steps. It was a shock to both how fervently they had fallen into each other once again; how easily they had capitulated. His moves were unrushed and deliberate, every deep motion punctuated with fierce kisses. He placed her arms above her head, holding them down, palms together, their fingers interlaced firmly. Anna arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist. Soon, she lost herself in the movement again, hips pressing back to meet his, her body hungrily wanting more. She felt an unexpected tingle beneath her hairline, a strange itch demanding to be scratched. Somehow he knew like he could read her mind, and his hand moved to grip her hair. The feeling on his fingers tangled in the stranding gripping her scalp was exquisite. David' 's lips were soft and gentle when they connected with hers, and his thumb gently smoothed away a tear running down her cheek. She hadn't realized she was crying.

Anna inhaled sharply, grasping the sheets in silent anticipation and continued to rock together with him. She cried out. They were two very complex people, but this had always been very simple between them; all the sparks kindled at once, fire spreading within her at an alarming rate. Their kisses were rough and deep, and when he kissed back, he did so with urgent fervor, as if he was eager to show her just how much he still understood her and what she needed.

She used his chest to push herself back into a seated position, placing her palms on his body for leverage. Her hips rocked forward, and the pace was rapid, her breaths labored, lips parted. It was a never-ending cycle of bliss as she moved over him, making her muscles tense as the tension wound tighter. Her eyelids fluttered open, and her dark eyes found his, and David knew that she was with him. Not just their bodies joining together, but she was giving him the gift of herself; to see and be seen. He felt as if his heart would burst from gratitude, and he anchored her tighter to him, desperate to show her that he understood the value of her vulnerability. He reached up to cup her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb while saying her name, worshiping her with his lips and body.

She could no longer control the moans spilling from her lips without reserve as he held onto her body and assaulted her senses to bring her to fulfillment. David shifted against her, and the additional pressure was much for Anna; she shook violently as currents of electricity flowed through her body, stars exploding behind her closed eyes. She called out his name as he called hers. David collapsed next to her, and the room was filled with their ragged breathing.

Anna lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, contemplating what had just occurred. When she had dressed this morning, this is not how she would have guessed her where her day would end. She looked down the length of her body where David had shifted himself down; his head was nestled at the slope of her hip, his hand splayed across her stomach. She felt the weight of his broad palm resting there on her slick skin and the warmth of his breath from above. She hesitated for a moment and then indulged herself and reached to stroke his salt and pepper hair. His touch was soft and gentle, and she wasn't sure what about her had captured his attention.

"What are you doing?" She asked curiously.

"Remembering," he said. "Remembering what it was like when she was inside, and you kept her safe and sound. If only we could have kept her that safe forever." His fingers began tracing patterns on her abdomen; she realized he was feeling for the fine spider web of stretch marks that still were faintly etched across her skin, the only marks her body still bore that proved that a tiny life had grown inside her.

He took her hand, very tenderly, very gently, and she didn't know who he was trying to console more, himself or her. There were memories that he cherished; they had soared to the highest heights of happiness only to plunge to the deepest depths. Perhaps, he though the hearts that enjoy most keenly are those who also suffer most sharply. Anna raised up on her forearm to look down at him. He looked up at her, her beautiful eyes shining brilliantly, even in the darkened room. David suddenly remembered Leora's eyes, wide and bright, as the three of them kept each other company during long winter nights in their cabin in the woods.

"I don't think she would blame us for anything that happened, Anna," he said gently.

Anna let out a kind of strangled sob, her hand covering her face, and then David was right there, cradling her in his arms, rocking her soothingly. Anna tried to subdue it by covering her mouth with her hand, but the convulsive gasps took over her body, making her shake as if she no longer had any control. His firm arms wrapped around her slight body and pulled her closer. She didn't fight it; there's no strength left in her to do so.

Instinctively, she pressed her face into his neck, burying her cries in his warm skin. She focused on his embrace, letting her sobs drift away on their own. And he felt exactly how she remembered at their best of times, tender and comforting. The pain of their loss was still raw even after all these years, and it only felt right to fall apart in his arms even though she had never planned to again in her time remaining on this earth.

"You gave me a rare gift Anna," he whispered into her hair. "You gave me the gift of knowing that I can love and that I was capable of caring for something outside of myself. I can never repay you for that, but I will always love you for it."

David looked at her, and he remembered her eyes aglow with the holy passion of motherhood every time he had told her to think of the baby she was carrying rather than anything else. He realized at the moment that he needn't have done that. She had thought of nothing else.

For a few precious months, they tasted happiness so rare and exquisite that he knew she would have traded her life for Leora's if she could have struck the bargain. That heartbroken lamenting sound that came from her that day her pale face blanched with its baptism of pain still haunted David. As did the shame he felt at leaving her to arrange for the internment of their little white lady, her waxen form laid out in her tiny white coffin, ran white-hot through him, and his tears matched hers. A part of them both was buried in that Pine Valley cemetery. They held each other tightly, broken, and tear-blinded.

Anna's emotional purge was almost complete when weariness finally wrested the wheel from sorrow, and the last thing she heard was his heartbeat, even and calming, before it all turned quiet and sleep claimed her. David's mind remained alert for just a few moments more, marveling that this moment was more than a mere fixture in his memory: her petite figure pressed up against him, their warm bodies entwined. He wrote this moment in his eidetic memory and then, in their shared embrace, fell into a peaceful sleep, the first in years.


	3. Where the Sea and River Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein David wrestles with the past and Anna surrenders.

David had barely begun as a med student when he was told he had "great hands." He knew what that meant; at least in the realm of his medical career, it meant that he was born to be a surgeon. But to be a great surgeon, he knew that it would take more than exceptional dexterity that was needed. He required technical skill, confident judgment, and dedication to being the top in his field. His residency advisor had told him he had " the vision," a certain orientation of one's mind to be able to see the entire operative field as a whole, which was critical to handling novel situations in the operating room and adapting to ever-changing conditions.  
He had the ability to translate thought into action, a physical genius to always know where his hands were going and what was needed inside the body. David had always understood that his success was more than just individual ability— it was not simply hand-eye coordination but rather his practical-minded obsession with the possibility of what his abilities could do rather than the consequences of failure.

Arrogance. That's what the world called it.

He was unbothered by this. Surgery is a contact sport, physical indeed. A surgeon must be charismatic, commanding, confident. Strong mind, strong body, strong will. He must be able to stand at the operating table; both hands and arms need to function. Senses have to work — vision, hearing, speech, touch. He endured long hours, grueling surgeries, life & death decisions. It is intellectually, physically, and emotionally challenging work. He relished it, thrived on it.

And yet he realized this is why he felt so threadbare.

He looked at the woman lying next to him. He woke up to the feeling of her forearms wrapped tightly around his rib cage. She was beautiful in sleep, her face peaceful, her dark hair splayed on his shoulder; he was content to look at her. She moved ever so slightly, and she held him tighter. He was amazed by her body, deceptively delicate, light yet with a tensile strength of steel. She could bend and never be broken. And then like a bolt out of the blue, he struck by just how fragile he was compared to her.

Maybe that was their problem. He always knew she was his superior when he was so used to the idea that he was the apex predator in his food chain. To say that Anna Devane upset every preconceived notion about the world and his place in it was an understatement. This woman could and would do whatever she willed, unflinchingly, and unrelentingly.

David reached for her again. He held her close as if he was a drowning man, and she was his only rescue. A fitting metaphor, David thought. She clung to him in her deep sleep. His need for her was stronger than his rational thought. He ached for her. Just once more.  
He began simply. A wayward lock of hair had spilled onto her cheek, and it was here he touched first, finger ghosting across her face to tuck away the strand. Next, he traced the contours of her jaw, the line of her neck, the dip into her shoulder. His pace was glacial. He felt her move in response to his touch, and her eyes opened then he felt her body stiffen for a moment.

He paused, his breath caught in his chest, and he held it until he saw desire flare in her dark irises. The heat of her gaze settled on his, and it was searing in its intensity. Her lips parted, and he felt her body yield once again to his touch.

David tilted his head down and brought his lips to hers. It was soft and delicate at first, she moved her head just so, and his lips touched her skin softly, kissing her cheek, then traveling down her jaw, before finding the sensitive spot under her chin and kissing there until she gasped. She responded as his lips moved to her neck, pressing a deep kiss to the base of her throat. His fingertips grazed the side of her ribcage, following the curve of her hips to trail down her thigh; she shivered deliciously at his touch. His lips traveled slowly from her breast, down her stomach, and disappeared between her legs. With an arch of her back and a loud gasp, she surrendered to the sensation. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, her fingers tight in his hair. It felt so good; he felt so good. Warmth and pleasure began to flood her, washing away all the entanglements in her mind. She gasped as his lips finally found their goal.

And she didn't say no. She couldn't say no.

She felt everything he meant her to, and she shuddered and gasped again: in part at how it felt positively carnal, but even more because of the intimacy of it. When he made an approving sound in the back of his throat, she felt every vibration. He steadied her hips with his hands and moved in again, lingering until she fell back, her neck craning from side to side with every jolt of pleasure. She could hardly remember who or where she was, or how she had come to be there.

Euphoria came swiftly, with waves that made every nerve in her body sing. Her fingers dug into bedsheets and cried out, giving no care to the volume of her voice. Eventually, gradually, she returned to the present. His forehead rested against her thigh for a moment before he pressed a gentle kiss to the smooth skin there. He then moved up to lay next to her and was careful not to touch her.  
He knew what she needed. She needed to maintain control over the exchange, for the time being. His eyes burned into her. It wasn't in his nature to relinquish control, but with Anna, he was always riveted by this shift in dynamics. He reached to embrace her. But no: she was not ready for his interference. She extracted his arms from her sides and pushed above his head instead so that he lay sprawled beneath her and completely at her mercy.

She mapped nearly every part of him with hands and tongue and teeth. He remained quiet as she explored, save for his audible breaths and the occasional stifled moan or gasp. Then she guided him to her. Their foreheads pressed into one another as he worked. She felt a drop of perspiration cascade down her face, and she did not know whether it came from her brow or his. She was so overwhelmed by the sensation that she could scarcely breathe.

Finally, he froze, and then he clutched her with a sudden, desperate tenacity as he drove forward one last time, a sustained and breathless cry erupting from his lips. He shuddered against her, and then he lay motionless and panting while she planted gentle kisses on his lips and neck.

He eventually summoned one last surge of energy to kiss her back. "Thank you, Anna." She didn't respond. He didn't need her to.  
The chill in the room caused Anna to worm her way under the covers and David followed suit. He pulled her close making as much contact with her as he possibly could. She nuzzled her face into his neck and the tenderness of the caress left him overwhelmed. When he had asked her to come to his room he knew that the animalistic attraction they had for each other was still as strong as it had been twelve years ago. He thought that they would use each other, pawing desperately at any scrap of pleasure in order to drown out his regret and self-loathing or her heartache and uncertainty. But here she was touching him with the same gentleness that he remembered. 

He knew better than to speak of it, he felt that nothing would send her running into the night faster than the insinuation that maybe she wanted more than just her base needs to be met. He knew it was selfish but he didn't want to lose contact with her naked body and he was aware that the sand in the hourglass was running low and there would be a limit to her willingness to share herself with him.  
Her fingers traced patterns on his chest as he did on her hip. Their mouths hovered a hair's width apart. His breath fanned her face with the sultry heaviness of a summer night, making her skin flush again. Only once had become one time more. David kissed her deeply and she shifted against him.

Perhaps they were both fragile in their own ways and tonight they would shatter together as many times as they both needed to feel whole again.


	4. The Road Divides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Anna takes control and David reaches a decision.

The morning dawned with a dull gray light seeping through the closed curtains, she woke up to a feeling of warmth and comfort. Anna was bewildered for a moment, unsure if she was encased in a dream. Her body enjoyed the contentment she was not used to until her mind awoke fully and recalled the events of last night. Her eyes sprang open, and she waited for them to adjust to the dim while she reflected on her predicament. David's arm was wrapped around her as he held her tightly. Her first instinct was to push his arm away, but instead, she slipped slowly out his embrace, although her body was somehow unwilling to let go. Her muscles protested her movement, and the soreness of her body betrayed how useless it had been for her to insist that she and David should only give themselves over once.

As if they had ever been good at moderation she thought ruefully.

Once she left the bed, she turned to check if she disturbed his peace, but David remained in a deep sleep, a satisfied smile on his lips. Her gaze moved to the clothes discarded carelessly on the floor. Anna wished she could hold the champagne responsible for the night's occurrence, that would be much simpler than admitting she gave in to her own desires. She picked up her garments and dressed in haste, relieved she had little luggage to worry about packing. She hoped that she could get out quick and unseen. The raw emotions of last night were too difficult to face in the daytime.

When David woke, he realized that he felt cold. And as he became more aware of his surroundings, he understood why. The bed is empty save for him.

He saw her pulling on her boots, ready to slip out the door without so much as a goodbye or good luck. He could have just let her go, pretend to be asleep and let her save face. The souls, as well as their bodies, had been naked last night and he knew that she would be wrestling with it this morning. So yes, he could let her go but where would be the fun in that?

"Well, Anna, we began when you snuck into my hotel room, so it's only fitting that we end our time together with you sneaking out of my room now. There is a symmetry to that." He observed. There was no malice in his voice, only amusement.

"I have to make my flight and I...I didn't want to bother you-"

"Bother me? You didn't want to face me is what you mean. Or maybe it's just that you didn't want to face the fact that you wanted last night to happen the minute we saw each other again."

"Well, I might as well tell the truth and shame the devil as they say. Yes, I did want last night to happen. But now I have to return to the present and we both have lives we have to get back to."

David looked at Anna as another moment of self-awareness crested. "I'd have caged you if you had stayed. I would have hurt you like I hurt all the others that came after you," he said in sudden realization. He took three strides to reach her and pulled her into his arms and cupped the back of her head. The intimacy of the moment was quiet and he held her close resting his cheek on the crown of her head. "And I-I never wanted that for you," David whispered desperately into her hair. The truth of their undoing was clear now. She had been right to escape. In his fear of losing her, he had inadvertently taken away her vitality.

"What did you want?" she whispered, her voice calm, and her body pressed against his chest. She took in the scent of his aftershave, and it transported her to a different time. She silently begged that he will indulge her question.

"I just wanted us to be happy." he finally admitted, it was his most pervasive fantasy. His time in prison spent remembering, feeding her chocolate-dipped fruit, holding her hand, and running his fingers through her soft hair. His favorite memories were lying in bed with her, waking up next to her warm body each morning. Kissing her lips. David's tears slid down his face and into her dark brown hair locks, mourning the loss of the life they almost had.

"I wish we could be like we were before," he whispered. "I wish that my life and obligations right now were different so that I could try and win you again. Wine dine and romance you the way you deserve."

Anna sniffed back her tears and let out a soft chuckle. "And this is why I have reason to question your wits, David Hayward. Because to do the same thing twice and expect a different result is commonly referred to as the definition of insanity." She pulled back to smile at him, guileless and wistful.

"Anna Devane," he began his hand over his heart, having the audacity to look wounded. "You crush me."

"Hardly." she teased back.

She grew serious for a moment and pinned him with her eyes. "David we could never compete with before. And we certainly can't compete with the perfect version of us that probably fills your head right now," she murmured sadly.

"Anna all I feel is regret. And the need to make amends."

Anna looked at him, and her eyebrows quirked in confusion, as she searched his eyes. She knew a lifetime of apologies could never replace what had been taken from them. Regardless, she gave her forgiveness to him freely. Her hand touched his face, and she shook her head softly. Her other hand was fitted into his without her even realizing it.

"I don't blame you. I never did. I need you to know that,"

"And I need you to know that I will keep trying to become the man you always knew I could be. I can promise you that. And who knows? Maybe when I finally become that man we can meet up again, at some other airport in some other part of the world. And on purpose this time."

"Oh, David…" that was all she could manage to say. There was nothing more to say.

David slid his thumbs gently over her cheeks, moving away from her tears. He cupped her face in his hands for a moment and then he enveloped her in his arms, murmuring her name fervently, his hands moving to cradle the back of her neck and pressed to her waist. They gripped each other for dear life as words were suddenly out of place. Anna didn't remove her arms from him, but leaned in, her lips meeting his. He kissed her back, his hand in her hair, his mouth lingering on hers, as if afraid the kiss will end too soon. But it didn't. It was long and deep and satisfying.

It was goodbye.

"I'm glad we ended up here together, and we can't know what the future holds for either of us. There is nothing to say that our paths might cross one day." Anna knew when to let go for fear, the beauty of their unlooked-for reunion would slip through their fingers if they tried to hold onto it for too long. She stepped back and placed a bright smile on her face, one that she tried to match with her eyes and almost succeeded.

"Goodbye, David."

"Goodbye, Anna."

She left quickly and hoped he wouldn't follow. She didn't know what it would cost her to say no to him again. She fixed her hair in the elevator on the way down and did not allow herself to think until she was safely on board her flight. In the familiar setting of a plane, everything returned to normal, and last night seems nothing more than a vivid dream. And some dreams should not be mentioned. Or discussed.

She allowed herself to fall into a fitful sleep that turned into a restful one, and she did not stir until the sound of the pilot announced their descent into New York was beginning. Anna stretched and was filled with relief and tried to relax, but the scent of him pervaded her nostrils, and the sensation of his lips and hands still lingered on her skin. She had crossed the Atlantic to close one chapter of her life only to unexpectedly write the epilogue to another she thought she had closed for good. Anna shook her head wryly. It was time to be Anna Devane and put Anna Hayward away, but it had been a healing visit. It was appropriate that all of her loves were never closed but always To Be Continued. he smiled to herself and decided that she would let her thoughts of him linger a little longer. Then her world must resume and her pursuits turn back to justice and righting the wrongs that still existed in her world.

And she and David were on once again their own respective continents. She could only be grateful that distance, in all its ways, divided them.

Until perhaps they would meet again.


End file.
